Autumn in my Heart
by vausemanaddict17
Summary: Alex Vause, living a life of struggle. A bad relationship and pressure from the new boss, left her angrier than before. Can she find her lost zen?
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

A New story. Quite Different from my first, "Marzipan and Vanilla". I want to know what you really think. I'm pretty serious. I'm in a dark place and writing helps. So please, tell me.

* * *

 **It was great at the very start**

 **Hands on each other**

 **Couldn't stand to be far apart**

 **Closer the better**

 **Now we're picking fights**

 **And slamming doors**

 **Magnifying all our flaws**

 **And I wonder why**

 **Wonder what for**

 **Why we keep coming back for more**

 **Scared To Be Lonely - Martin Garrix/ Dua Lipa**

* * *

"Fuck"

Alex cursed when warm water hit her body. The day was an absolute disaster and it's still 9pm. She tried to close her eyes, listening to the slow rhythm of pouring water. But her mind was restless. She was in so much physical and mental agony and it was excruciating and disheartening. She haven't had any sleep for the last twenty-four hours. Usually she was a sucker for long sleeps but not today. Her anger was burning bright and she wanted to hit something hard or get stoned or jump from the 10th floor of a building. If all those were impossible, she wanted to shout til her lungs burst. She was so angry and it was eating her alive.

She was supposed to rest today, but no, her boss wanted her to come tonight since Maria was not well. Her shifts at work were hellish and tiresome. Although it was just a part-time work and every penny was important, she often ended up in cuts and bruises, not used to the heavy lifting of various supplies in the pub although she was a server.

It was almost 10pm. Time for her bus. The blizzard was howling outside but a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do. To survive. She clutched bag and started to go bit faster. Her phone was ringing. She checked the phone . Her girlfriend. Alex had to move away from her home town since she got a job, actually two jobs in the city and every Time they talked, on the phone, it ended in a fight making Alex's life more difficult and miserable. She tried to answer the incoming call because if not the next fight would be on that but the wind was too much for her liking. Ouch. she lost her focus and stumbled upon an icy rock and fell. It hurt like hell. Alex tried to move her leg wondering she broke a bone but thankfully she could move. For now.

"Fuck"

She picked herself up and walked towards the bus stop cursing Sylvie. She wondered why was she still with Sylvie. It's been five years now and first few months were pretty good. She supported Alex's writing and was really an inspiration. It was so messed up as years went by but Alex did not want to hurt Sylvie. There was no logic in it because it was her who always got hurt. She was Sylvie's punching bag, their love, long-lost, thanks to her Alex was always fuming with anger.

Although it was harder for her to walk with the fall, she had no choice because she saw her bus was coming from afar. She cross the street and got into the bus. 20 minutes to go for her shift. Her left leg was aching so bad.

* * *

"Why are you late Vause"

It's Nicky's way of saying hello.

"Sylvie"

"Say no more"

 _Nicky understands me, perfectly._

After that it was all about rushing, running and serving, lifting and pushing, all the hard work in the book. During her break Alex asked Nicky to massage her back and left shoulder with some ice.

"It's a nasty fall, Vause. All blue now"

" God, it hurts. Fuck Sylvie"

"I'm sure you must have done that last weekend or was it week before last?"

" We did not fuck but fought, as usual. We do that more often than fucking"

"You gotta take a decision Vause. You are just wasting time."

"I'm used to her now, you know. It's like breaking a habit."

"But she's using you. Why are you so blind not to see that?"

"She helped me a lot, when I start off my writing"

" Blah, blah, blah….So you are sacrificing your life to her?"

"You know it's not like that."

"What's it then? Just come out of your comfort zone. There are plenty of fish in the sea."

"I don't wanna talk about it now, Nicky"

"Okay, postpone it but trust me, you are gonna regret it."

"Bugger off"

Lucky for Alex, they could not continue the talking as the Pub got so busy afterwards.

* * *

It was 4am in the morning when Alex finally got home. Her phone ran out of battery and she plugged it in and switched it on. 35 missed calls and 50 texts. All from Sylvie. She did not want to open the texts. She knew what was on them, accusations, angry words and she was not in a mood for any. She was so tired and all she remembered was hitting the bed. She slept like a log that night, no dreams.

Alex slept most of the next day, her whole body was in agony. She thought of calling Sylvie but decided not to. The physical pain she was going through was enough. Besides, she was too anxious because there was a rumor that a new boss would come to office tomorrow since Mr. Demarco was retiring. Alex's job as a junior writer in Daily Planet was not enough to pay off the mortgage of her house, so she and her mum had to do two jobs. It was hard to find jobs in recession times like these, so she had to be happy being a server in Irish pub called Donegal. She kept saying to herself it was temporary and she was paid by cash which always came handy.

She was still thinking about who her new boss would be when she heard a knock on her door. It must be her landlady, Mrs. Holmes. Alex got up from her bed, slowly moving towards the door and opened it. It was Sylvie.

"What the fuck Sylvie"

"Fuck you"

"What"

"I thought you were dead, not answering my phone or replying my texts"

"I came home late last night, I…"

"What did you do til late? Fucked a chick? Where is she? Where is she hiding?"

"Fucked a chick? I had a nasty fall. I can barely move"

"Alex, cut the bullshit, don't lie to me. I drove three hours and I know you are hiding her somewhere"

"Stop being paranoid, jeez Sylvie, are you out of your fucking mind?"

"You are out of your mind and lying to me about a fall, trying to get my sympathy are you?"

"I don't want your fucking sympathy, thank you very much. Just get out"

"What did you say?"

"I said get out, I mean it"

"So you can fuck the bitch once I go?"

"You need help Sylvie. Like serious medical help"

"Now I need help? Now I am paranoid? What about those days? When I read everything you wrote and appreciated you?"

"When did you last appreciated me? When was the last time you talked to me like a normal person, without ripping my throat?"

Alex wanted to slap Sylvie. She could not believe the person she was becoming. Fuck Sylvie.

"Just leave me Alone for Pete's sake Sylvie, before I do something I might regret for the rest of my life?"

"Like what Alex? Ha? Are you gonna hit me? Are you gonna kill me? Do whatever I don't care?"

Alex could not take it anymore. She was not a violent person but Sylvie was pushing all her limits.

"I am going out. You stay."

With that Alex opened the door, slammed it behind her.

 _This is what we have become._


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for all the likes and Reviews. As I told you before, I am a poet, so I'm using some poems I wrote which can be found in my blog, a wordpress blog called loveamongotherthings** **and those would be in** ** _italics._**

* * *

"Like what Alex? Ha? Are you gonna hit me? Are you gonna kill me? Do whatever I don't care"

Alex could not take it anymore. She was not a violent person but Sylvie was pushing all her limits.

"I am going out. You stay."

With that Alex opened the door, slammed it behind her.

 _This is what we have become._

* * *

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."

― **Jim Morrison**

* * *

It was still freezing outside. But she had to go. It was suffocating to be in the same room as Sylvie. Alex did not know where to go but she kept walking. _Thank god I had some sense to get the jacket_. Avoiding the colder wind, She tried to remember the last time she was happy. She racked her brain trying to find an exact moment but failed. _This is my life now._ She was angry. As long as she could remember she was feeling this restlessness. Her heart was empty. All she needed was love, someone who could understand her, someone to share her feelings and someone who could make her feel warm. But Sylvie was far from that.

She used to be a fun loving woman when they first met. They met at a library. Alex loved to read and always loved to write, as long as she could remember. It was her drug, her escape from brutality of reality. There was a corner where hardly anybody went, pretty silent and it was Alex's spot. She was scribbling a poem in her notebook when she first saw Sylvie.

 **First rule in life,**

 **Don't open**

 **Your heart too soon,**

 **To souls that fly,**

 **Into your life,**

 **For it could be in pieces,**

 **Zillion tiny little pieces,**

 **Without you realizing,**

 **The enormity,**

 **Of the pain,**

 **Or,**

 **The eternity it would take,**

 **To erase them away…**

"Wow, deep"

She heard someone saying and she closed her notebook. A not so bad looking girl was staring at her, tall and slender body and long legs, softer red lips, her face was confident and eyes expressive. Alex was lost in her.

"Are you always like that? Peeping into strangers' books?"

"I like to read and I like writers. At least I'm not shallow"

She teased Alex.

Sylvie looked at this dark haired woman with awe. Her pale skin and emerald eyes were mesmerizing Sylvie and she was wearing a white tank top and black leather jacket and blue jeans and biker boots. _She looks so hot_ was Sylvie's first thought.

"Oh, a smarty pant are you?"

It was Alex's turn.

"Sylvie"

"Alex"

"Nice to meet you Alex. I like your way of looking at things."

"Oh, do you?

"I do not believe in love."

"If it's with the right person, then yes Sylvie."

"How are we gonna know whether it is the right person or not?"

"You gotta swim if you want to know how deep the water is right?"

"But what if you cannot swim Alex?"

"Then you die, the most painful death, it could be by drowning or by sharks."

"You are brutal"

"Am I? You know nothing about me"

"I would like to know."

That was the woman she fell in love with. Funny and witty and who loved her writing. Not this person who's not going to give her a break and always made her angry.

Alex checked her watch, she walked for almost an hour and Sylvie must have come to her senses by now. She thought to herself and walked back to her apartment. Mrs. Holmes was outside and Alex waved her hand.

"Alex, I heard lot of noises, I thought you were inside"

"No, it's Sylvie, Mrs. Holmes"

"Oh"

That's all she said.

 _Everyone knows what a fucking psycho Sylvie is._ Alex felt ashamed.

She knocked the door, it was half open and Alex was shocked to see the plight of her living room. Everything was turned upside down. Her notebooks, her books, her laptop was on the floor too. Alex gritted her teeth in anger and at that moment she wanted to slap and strangle Sylvie so hard. She searched for her but there was no sign. She went to her bedroom and everything was wracked as well. Rage hissed through Alex's body like deathly poison and it was like a volcano erupting; fury sweeping off her like ferocious waves. The wrath consumed her soul and her face was turning red and she was fuming, " Fuck you" she screamed, knowing very well no one was there to hear her.

 **Love I thought we had**

 **Oh, it was never there,**

 **Some sad truth, but better than you lying,**

 **You took my soul away from me.**

* * *

Alex was early the next day to her office. She did not want to be in the bad books of her new boss. She was assigned to the creative writing section of the paper and she knew Mr. Demarco from day one because he used to be Alex's immediate Boss before he became the Editor of Daily Planet. So he knew Alex and her problems and he liked Alex, a hard working, no nonsense woman and gave her recognition for her work whenever he could.

"Pssst, Polly"

She winked at Mr. Demarco's assistant.

"Hiya Alex, early today huh?"

"Yup. do you know who's the new boss? Is he tough?"

"It's a she and she is tough. She is quite young, she is from Stanford, like me and year or two junior. The smartest in her class so without a doubt the valedictorian. She knows me, so I am safe."

"So she basically a Godzilla?"

"A what?"

"I mean is she nasty and vicious?"

"Try to stay out of trouble kid. She is not an easy woman to be with. I tell you that."

"Thanks Polly. Now I am more scared."

"Just be safe Alex. do you job and get out. You will be okay"

Alex was not sure whether to be happy or sad. This new boss seemed to be super smart and sound like Margaret Thatcher in making. She had enough troubles without any dragon ladies in her life. Alex sighed and started scribbling in her notebook.

 **I try to remind myself of the good times**

 **Those not so painful days**

 **But my mind is blurred**

 **I try tending to my new wounds**

 **I am not worried about the depth or the raw flesh**

 **Or how much blood I have lost**

 **I am worried about the scars**

 **Accumulating scars**

 **That make my soul shiver…**

She heard a chatter and looked up. Mr. Demarco was walking with Polly and a lady, may be the same age as Alex. Her tall frame and slender body were like of a hot model. Her blue eyes, like the sea, were calm and emotionless. Long, blonde hair, so smooth and silky. She was gorgeous but Alex felt her coldness. "The dragon Lady" Alex muttered and wondered what her name was.


	3. Chapter 3

**Still trying to find a way out from my dark place, all my demons are alive. Thanks for all the love. I need it.**

* * *

She heard a chatter and looked up. Mr. Demarco was walking with Polly and a lady, may be the same age as Alex. Her tall frame and slender body were like of a hot model. Her blue eyes, like the sea, were calm and emotionless. Long, blonde hair, so smooth and silky. She was gorgeous but Alex felt her coldness. "The dragon Lady" Alex muttered and wondered what her name was.

* * *

 _"_ _Yet anything can to nothing fall,_

 _Nor any place be empty quite;_

 _Therefore, I think my breast hath all_

 _Those pieces still, though they be not unite;_

 _And now, as broken glasses show_

 _A hundred lesser faces, so_

 _My rags of heart can like, wish, and adore,_

 _But after one such love, can love no more."_

 _―_ _ **John Donne**_ _,_ _ **The Complete Poetry and Selected Prose**_

* * *

 **Piper Chapman**

That was the name of her New Editor. _Suit herself._ Alex thought to herself. She looked gorgeous no doubt but Alex could tell that she kept everyone at bay. _As far as she won't rip my throat, I would be okay. I have someone for that already._

Thankfully Piper Chapman did not want a staff meeting that day and after discussing about certain urgent matters, she left. Alex looked down from the third floor window and she could get a clear view of the blonde. _She is hot_ Alex thought as Piper walked with such confidence and arrogance. Her Mercedes was waiting for her at the gate and a plain looking man with curly hair and a suit got down from the passenger seat of the car and kissed Piper, a quick kiss on the lips and Alex wondered whether Piper was married, not that it mattered.

She prepared her article for next week and handed it over to Polly who was beaming at the prospect of being the Assistant to her fellow Alumni. Alex had work that evening in the pub, so she quickly clicked on her blog, which no one knew existed, not even Nicky and wrote,

 _ **I chase clouds**_

 _ **And rough winds**_

 _ **Call me crazy?**_

 _ **I throw stones at the moon**_

 _ **I dance on the snow**_

 _ **Do you read me?**_

 _ **I wake up all night**_

 _ **When darker thoughts**_

 _ **Consume me**_

 _ **I have stopped all my prayers**_

 _ **And have looked at God**_

 _ **In the eye**_

 _ **Truth be told**_

 _ **I am not my true self**_

 _ **When you are not near**_

 _ **My soul escape**_

 _ **And roam around**_

 _ **In colder mountains…**_

 _Do I love Sylvie or not_? The nagging question made her write confused words. She was not sure of herself anymore. If someone asked the same question before she moved to New York, she would scoff and laugh at them but now she had to think twice, may be thrice, may be many times. Writing was her only solace. Her secret escape.

* * *

It was the game night and the pub was crowded with people cheering and drinking as if there was no tomorrow. Some started betting on who was gonna win tonight, many wanted Jets to win and some were confident it would be Hornets. After three hours of running around back and forth, Alex could not feel her legs and Nicky saw that. She poured something from a brown paper bag and gave it to Alex.

"What's this?"

"Something for you to feel better"

Alex trusted Nicky and just drank it at one gulp.

 _Single Malt scotch whiskey_

"Are you fucking kidding me? How can I drink while I'm on duty?"

"You will be fine Vause. Now, you will find your rhythm"

 _Fuck you_

Alex mouthed and checked the next order. It was for table 15. A fucking long order. _They should have gone to a proper restaurant, not coming to a pub._ Alex checked whether she could see who ordered it from the ordering window and she could not believe her eyes.

Piper Chapman with the man she saw in the morning.

Fuck

"I cannot serve that table"

"You got a problem Vause?"

It was Red, Galina " **Red"** Reznikov, the head chef.

"She is going to be my boss and she could not know I work here. Please, Red."

Alex almost begged Red.

"Okay, Nicky, you serve the table and Vause you help her."

"Thanks a lot Red. I owe you one"

Alex did not want to make her life awkward in any way and she thanked her stars.

"Nicky, tried to find out who that man is. I saw him today. He came to pick her from the office."

"Why bother Vause. Do you have a secret crush over her?"

"Me? Are you fucking kidding me? Just curious, thought of doing my research and be one step ahead you know."

Nicky was shaking her head in disbelief.

"Just trust me. If I know you right that woman will be the death of you one day, if Sylvie couldn't kill you that is."

"Just go, go. They are waiting."

Alex pushed Nicky away.

After 10 minutes, Nicky came with some details she could gather from their conversation.

"He is a freelance writer. Name Barry or Harry or Larry, something in that line and she is so waspy, man. She wants every detail to be perfect. He just listens like a puppy. She is hot Vause. So hot I felt the flames and got burned."

"And I have to deal with her from next week. Jesus. She sounds like a bitch."

Alex sighed.

"Relax. Take one day at a time. Trust me. It works."

Alex had taken many sips from Nicky's Brown Paper bag and was feeling bit dizzy at the end of her shift. She was thankful that Nicky gave her a lift.

"Hey, Vause."

Nicky called her name when Alex got down from her car and she turned,

"Take it easy okay."

"Thanks man."

She was glad to have Nicky in her life.

* * *

She hit the shower and her feelings were roused for some reason, may be the whiskey was doing the trick. She did not want to give into her feelings but her desires were too deep and screaming. She dried herself contemplating whether she should call Sylvie or not. After that disastrous day neither Alex nor Sylvie exchanged calls. But Alex needed to hear someone. She needed to feel loved, now more than ever.

Fuck it

She dialed Sylvie's number.

"Hello"

Sylvie's sleepy voice.

"Hi, it's me"

"Alex"

"Hmm…"

"Why you call at this time?I was sleeping"

"I need you"

 _Okay, I said it out loud but that's the truth, right?_

"You need me?"

Sylvie sounded as if she was not sure.

After the first few months, they stopped having phone sex, Sylvie did not mind because Alex always knew the right thing to say but Alex wanted to feel her, to touch her and to see her face. Tonight was different. Her head was a mess and she wanted an escape. She could have pick someone else, she could have picked anyone but she and Sylvie, they were not over yet and Alex did not want to be unfaithful to Sylvie. It sounded funny because all the love and adoration they had for each other were long-lost but Alex had her own principles. She never cheated.

"You want to have phone sex with me?"

"Yes, is it too much to ask?"

"You did not call me for a whole day and now you want to talk, forgive me, to have phone sex with me?"

"You sound as if I am a criminal Sylvie."

Alex almost gave up.

"What are you wearing Alex"

All of a sudden Sylvie's voice became husky and Alex was relieved.

"Just my shorts and tee"

"No bra"

"No bra baby"

"I like it that way. Just play with your nipples Alex, play it for me"

Alex felt her desires escalate and her pussy getting wet. She wanted to let it out. She wanted to get lost in this and forget her real world, her real problems and of course her fucking Boss who would be a nightmare in days to come.

"Talk to me baby, talk dirty to me"

Alex was breathless.

"You know what Alex. I cannot do this."

"You cannot do what? What the fuck is wrong with you Sylvie? I am already wet and you are just gonna let me hang in there?"

"I don't feel it. I don't want to hump a pillow"

"So, now you are a saint? Now you want me next to you? News flash. I am 300 kilometers away from you"

"Just find someone near your home Alex or else leave your job and come back to me."

"Leave my job and come back? What the fuck am I supposed to do back there?"

"I don't know. If you love me, if you wanna fuck me for real, just come back to me and then we will do it, in the proper way"

With that Sylvie hung up, leaving Alex to her fuming anger again. Alex hated her own self. She was lonely and drunk but it was not an excuse, truth was she let herself down. She let Sylvie destroy her pride. She clenched her teeth and went to have a hot shower. Again. She just closed her eyes, wanting to wash away all the feelings she had for Sylvie. She felt that they had nothing in common anymore. _This is it_. She either had to kill herself or grow up. And she chose the latter.

 _ **Be afraid,**_

 _ **When there is a day I stop all the care**_

 _ **When there is a day I stop being possessive**_

 _ **Be afraid,**_

 _ **When there is a day I stop being jealous**_

 _ **I cannot stop speaking my mind**_

 _ **You know me,**_

 _ **I cannot tell tales and lies**_

 _ **I say what I believe**_

 _ **I never pretend of someone I am not**_

 _ **I may sound mean**_

 _ **You may say I am obsessed,**_

 _ **Say whatever you feel,**_

 _ **Whatever you want**_

 _ **I know my heart**_

 _ **I have come a long way**_

 _ **Loving you,**_

 _ **Wanting you**_

 _ **Being around you**_

 _ **Those are my simplest wishes**_

 _ **If you cannot see them as they are**_

 _ **Be afraid**_

 _ **Be very afraid,**_

 _ **That means you know nothing of me**_

 _ **That all I believed was a lie…**_


	4. Chapter 4

**A friend in need is a friend indeed but when they go away from your life, the void can never be filled. You know who I'm talking about. But if you are happy, so am I for you. Stay blessed.**

 _ ***All Poetry in italics are mine.**_

* * *

With that Sylvie hung up, leaving Alex to her fuming anger again. Alex hated her own self. She was lonely and drunk but it was not an excuse, truth was she let herself down. She let Sylvie destroy her pride. She clenched her teeth and went to have a hot shower. Again. She just closed her eyes, wanting to wash away all the feelings she had for Sylvie. She felt that they had nothing in common anymore. _This is it_. She either had to kill herself or grow up. And she chose the latter.

* * *

" **They had battled and bloodied one another, they had kept secrets, broken hearts, lied, betrayed, exiled, they had walked away, said goodbye and sworn it was forever, and somehow, every time, they had mended, they had forgiven, they had survived. Some mistakes could never be fixed - some, but not all. Some people can't be driven away, no matter how hard you try. Some friendships won't break."**

― **Robin Wasserman** , **Greed**

* * *

That week started badly. Sylvie ruined her self esteem and Alex was determined to forget her but she did not know how to. she went to her shift in the pub the next day, an hour earlier and met Nicky in the supply room.

"Did you call Sylvie?"

As if she could read her mind, Nicky asked Alex.

"I hope you ended things"

"No. But Nicky listen"

"You know what Vause, fuck you. If you wanna be a doormat and if you want her to have the upper hand in every fucking thing in your life, be my guest. Don't you fucking talk to me about it"

Nicky stormed away banging the door.

"Fuck you Nichols" Alex Muttered under her breath but her heart was breaking. Nicky was her best friend and her partner in crime and her wing woman. She wanted to explain Nicky how she was gonna work out this situation but it seemed now she had to figure out everything on her own.

"I will be fine."

Alex told herself but her heart was clouded with excruciating pain.

* * *

The week went from bad to worse when Alex was summoned by the New Editor, Piper Chapman. In fact it was Jeremy, who was in charge of the Culture section, should have gone there ,Alex just proofread the section, but since Jeremy fell and twisted his ankle and since Alex was the only member of that section who was present on that day, she was the one who became the scapegoat.

Alex knocked the door.

"Come in."

 _A stern voice._

"Alex from the Culture section"

It was the first time Alex saw Piper in close quarters. She was insanely beautiful and Alex thought her heart missed a beat. Alex thought there was Something radiated from within that rendered her irresistible to both genders and she was sure both men and women desired her. She was awaken by Piper's voice.

"What the hell you guys are writing? " **Age of Empires': How 2 Dynasties of Art Forged China's Identity"** who cared about it? " **Liked 'Serials,Here's Why the True-Crime Podcast 'S-Town' Is Better** " seriously? Who write these articles?

"Not me."

Alex muttered.

"What?"

"I said I did not write these articles. I merely proofread."

Piper looked at the raven haired drop dead gorgeous woman in front of her. She was the kind of girl that women loved to hate. She had that movie star look, not overly tall and willowy, but more like an action star. Her muscle definition was perfect and she walked with confidence. She wasn't just flawless in her bone structure, her skin was like silk over glass and she radiated an intelligent beauty.

"So why the hell you are here?"

Piper had to say something, she could not stare at his beautiful goddess for a long time. It would look awkward.

"Because the person who is in charge of the culture section is not here."

"Ask him to come when he comes, the first thing tomorrow. You can go now."

 _Bitch._

Alex almost said that but checked herself. She was not having a great week anyway and anything could backfire at the moment, she closed the door after her.

Life in daily planet is not gonna be easy again.

* * *

Alex worked extra cautiously checking the next morning's paper because she did not like to face the wrath of Piper Chapman. And she was super exhausted when she reached home. She could not update her blog for couple of days and after having a quick shower and after preparing some toast for her, she sat in front of her laptop, munching the toast and wrote thinking of Sylvie.

 _ **I tried to remember a moment I hated you**_

 _ **I turned back time**_

 _ **Walked in the memory lane**_

 _ **Dissecting every memory I have**_

 _ **Every kiss we shared**_

 _ **Every intimate moment**_

 _ **I flipped back and forth**_

 _ **But could not isolate a single moment**_

 _ **That I hated you**_

 _ **All my life**_

 _ **All these years**_

 _ **I had nothing to give you**_

 _ **But my deepest affection**_

 _ **Arising from the core of my poor soul…**_

She stood up from her chair and prepared herself a mug of hot chocolate and sat again to check how many people have read her poem. There were 35 hits for five minutes and five comments. One comment intrigued her. It was by **PC84**

" _I love the way you expressed your emotions. You seemed to be in so much pain. Everything changes, the good and the bad. Have faith"_

 _Seems like a caring person_.

Alex thought and as she believed poetry was the only place she could hide herself. Her life was a hellhole at the moment and she wondered how she could go on if not for the poetry she wrote. They were like her drug to a happy place where no one knew who she was.

She started writing again.

 _ **I feel lonely in a crowd of thousand souls around me**_

 _ **I get lost in voices and walk away**_

 _ **I open my eyes wide to see that I am still dreaming**_

 _ **I am not me,without you**_

 _ **I read but my eyes are blind**_

 _ **I cannot remember a happy day**_

 _ **I smile but people look in wonder**_

 _ **When my eyes won't stay the same**_

 _ **In my mind, I think I still see you**_

 _ **Around me,near or far**_

 _ **I try to run but I know it is an illusion**_

 _ **It brings me nothing but pain**_

She was going to switch off her laptop and off to bed but she got one notification saying someone commented on her latest poetry. It was **PC84,** again.

" _I wish I could help you and I am serious. Life is not so bad. Have hope and believe."_

Although she had no idea who this **PC84** she felt an instant connection for the appreciation. There was one person in this world at the moment who was worried about her, she did not know whether this was a man or a woman but she was glad and could not help but write another.

 _ **Under the same sky we live,**_

 _ **Miles apart but close at heart,**_

 _ **Look up, you will see the guiding stars,**_

 _ **Remember me, even when I depart**_

With that Alex went to sleep. It was a tumultuous couple of days, with Nicky and then with Piper Chapman. She was worried about times to come. She knew she had the strength to face anything that life threw at her face but she missed Nicky. She took her phone to text and explain thing to Nicky but then decided against it. She had her pride to think about. She wished with all her heart that Nicky would come around.


	5. Chapter 5

Hopefully you will like this chapter. I think.

* * *

With that Alex went to sleep. It was a tumultuous couple of days, with Nicky and then with Piper Chapman. She was worried about times to come. She knew she had the strength to face anything that life threw at her face but she missed Nicky. She took her phone to text and explain thing to Nicky but then decided against it. She had her pride to think about. She wished with all her heart that Nicky would come around.

* * *

 **But the second she opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew. She was either going to be the death of me . . . or she was going to be the one who finally brought me back to life."**

― **Colleen Hoover** , **Ugly Love**

* * *

Alex woke up before her alarm went off that day. Strange but true she thought to herself and checked her diary. She was shocked to see that it was this week that she had to go to Philadelphia, with Mr. Demarco. She dreaded that because it was before the Board of Directors of the daily planet decided that Mr. Demarco can retire early. _So that means I am stuck with the dragon lady_? Alex felt her heart missed a beat. She dreaded Piper Chapman to be honest. She seemed colder and emotionless yet insanely beautiful which would compensate any vices she had. Alex wondered whether she would ask Polly about it. _It's better to brace myself. I am dead if I have to spend that weekend with her._ Those were her thoughts the whole morning and that haunted her to no end.

Piper could not take her eyes off reading that blog she found couple of days ago. The poetry was so raw and intense and she liked that. Very much. There was no name but the initials "A.V" as the author. _Whoever it is, they have to be pretty smart to write like this._ She spend most of her last night reading and commenting those poetry. The more she read,she was more and more intrigued.

"Piper"

She heard Polly's voice and looked up.

"We have already scheduled conference in Philadelphia. Mr Demarco was supposed to go with Ms. Vause. Would you be changing that or should I book the hotel for two?"

"How many days?"

"Three days, two nights"

 **Two nights with that gorgeous raven haired beauty.** Her heart was screaming in excitement but she regained her composure before answering the affirmative. It's not that they are gonna spend the night on one bed, although that thought made her giggle.

* * *

Trip to Philadelphia was two days away and Alex went to her nightshirt in the pub without much enthusiasm. Without Nicky being Nicky it felt strange and when she entered the kitchen Nicky was laughing with Lorna, the sous chef and couple of others but stopped the talk as soon as she saw Alex.

"Oh, don't stop on my account. Please continue"

Alex Muttered and it was obvious she was hurt. She saw that Nicky gave the look and others left. Then she slowly walked towards Alex.

"Vause, you are an idiot"

"I know. I thought you knew"

"And I'm sorry for being a complete dick. You are so fucked up man. You deserve to be happy and you are so blind not to see it."

"I am blind and that's why I have far sighted friends although they ditch me when I need them the most."

"Just forget it. I become all emo when I don't talk to you and chicks hate that"

"So you are gonna talk to me to have your swagger back"

"Fuck Vause"

It cracked Nicky. _Finally._

* * *

Piper refused to take a driver and asked Polly whether Vause can take turns in driving and Polly could answer that because it was Alex who drove her home,safe and sound after the Christmas party last year, when Polly was so drunk.

Alex was punctual the next day. Black hair with blue highlights and pastel white skin which made her beautiful pink lips stand out and her emerald eyes mesmerized Piper and unwanted butterflies started fluttering in her stomach, Alex was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a grey band shirt, since the conference starts tomorrow.

"Shall we?"

Piper had to break the ice.

Alex nodded as she sat in the passenger seat. Piper drove and with great determination she had to force herself not to look at the ethereal beauty who sat next to her.

Alex could have any girl, with her charisma but seeing Piper chapman that morning made her looked at her in such a way she was afraid that she would touch the hand of Piper chapman and do something she would regret. Piper had the type of face that people would never forget. It was perfect and her cheeks were sharper and longer. Her cheekbones sat lower than Alex's and her bone structure perfect. She has a long feminine nose and her eyes were blue and always looked proud. She hardly smiled in office but Alex felt Piper chapman was relaxed here, with her.

"Unless you plan to go all these miles in silence, you can tell me about you?"

Alex was stunned at Piper's directness. Her voice sounded warmer.

"Well, I studies in NYU and majored in writing."

"How come you only proofread then?"

 _She remembered._

"Well, there are more qualified people than me."

"So you never write, like, at all?"

 _I have a blog, which I'm not gonna tell you about._

"No"

Was Alex's blunt answer. She could not fathom why Piper was interested in her personal life and small talks. _May be she is sleepy and want to have some sort of conversation going. Let me handle this._

"I will drive now. If you are sleepy."

"Oh please, I was dozing off. was awake most of the last night"

 _Fucking the puppy face_

Without a word Alex accepted the wheels and drove in silence.

Alex drove fairly fast and they reached their hotel, checked in, went to their separate rooms. Piper was disappointed about the journey and wondered what Alex must be thinking of her. What better way to find out rather than a round of drinks?

Alex's phone blinked.

 **Alex,**

 **Meet me in the bar at 7**

 **Piper**

 _Interesting. The dragon lady drinks._ Alex was smiling to herself when she replied the text.

"What would you have Alex?"

"Vodka and lime"

"Make it two"

Piper told the handsome bartender.

Drinks arrived and Alex could not hide her smirk when she saw the way her blonde boss drank her glass. _A lightweight,_ Alex could couple of glasses, all the inhibitions ran away, Piper was in control of the conversation. Alex was admiring the beauty when Piper shouted like a 12 year old.

"I love this song"

 _Bed, stay in bed_

 _The feeling of your skin locked in my head_

 _Smoke smoke me broke_

"What's it? I cannot recall"

"Talking bodies - Tovo Lo"

There's no room for any in the dance floor but somehow when Alex and Piper could squeeze in.

 _Now if we're talking body_

 _You got a perfect one, so put it on me_

 _Swear it won't take you long_

 _If you love me right_

 _We fuck for life, on and on and on_

 _Now if we're talking body_

 _You got a perfect one, so put it on me_

 _Swear it won't take you long_

 _If you love me right_

 _We fuck for life, on and on and on_

They danced so closely, so intimately and Piper could feel Alex's breaths on her. She loved her intoxicated state, she can blame it later. She wrapped her arms around Alex which took Alex by surprise but she liked that very much. They bodies were crashing and they were holding hands when that song ends. Alex saw the smile in Piper's face and wondered whether she would be too drunk to remember this night.


	6. Chapter 6

**I started writing " Autumn in my heart" because I was in a very dark place and was haunted by my own demons. They scared me day and night and I have almost gave up on any happiness in life. Some people are born to be sad forever, that was what I thought. But things can change for the better gradually and with right people around. The gloomy heart can beat again and a simple act of breathing in and out can bring ecstasy. I am alive now, I breathe with a happy song in my heart.**

* * *

They danced so closely, so intimately and Piper could feel Alex's breaths on her. She loved her intoxicated state, she can blame it later. She wrapped her arms around Alex which took Alex by surprise but she liked that very much. They bodies were crashing and they were holding hands when that song ends. Alex saw the smile in Piper's face and wondered whether she would be too drunk to remember this night.

* * *

 **I repeated: come with me, as if I were dying,**

 **and no one saw in my mouth the moon that was bleeding,**

 **no one saw the blood that was rising into the silence.**

 **Oh love, now let us forget the star with thorns!"**

― **Pablo Neruda** , **100 Love Sonnets**

* * *

Piper's lips almost touched Alex's warm pink lips but Alex tilted her head backwards to avoid the kiss. _What is she doing? What is Piper doing?_ It's like taking advantage of the drunk Piper and Alex was never a one like that. She loved a good challenge and she loved to be honest with herself. There was an attraction she did not want to deny but they hardly know each other and kissing was something more intimate. Alex's move took Piper by surprise and feelings of shame was overwhelming. She was strongly attracted to Alex and that feeling of rejection was too much for her to bear. She had to be in control but with Alex it was almost impossible. She slowly broke the embrace and walked away, dejected.

"Piper"

She heard Alex calling her but she did not turn back. Alex kept following her and as Piper was moving forward she heard a rumbling in her stomach and bitterness in her mouth. _Not now. Not now._ She changed her course of walking and turned to the ladies room. When Alex found her she was puking, too much vodka.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes"

"Let me help you"

"I can look after myself Alex. I am your boss, for Christ's sake."

It was a fucking arrogant statement which made Alex silent. Alex wanted to hold Piper to her body, help her and make Piper feel her presence but this was not the right time and definitely not the right place. Anyway she watched Piper like a hawk and Piper after her act of shame walked towards her hotel room. The night would have been different but Alex Vause did not fall for her charm and in Piper's eyes, it was a first.

* * *

Alex closed her hotel room's door and hit the showers. Piper Chapman amazed her, her ways intrigued her. If she allowed herself, she would not be on her bed tonight, rest assured. That thought made Alex smirk and she came out of the bathroom, drying herself up. Dressed herself in the comfort of her pajamas, she opened the mini fridge and grabbed a beer and opened her laptop. That PC84 had not commented on anything. _Oh, well, never mind._ She thought of writing something to let her mind drift from the confused reality.

 **I never thought I would write soliloquies**

 **Digging graves of my past**

 **Trying to unearth buried love…**

Piper woke up the next day with a throbbing head and a parched throat. It was the first day of the conference and she had to be in her absolute best. After taking a cold shower and dressing up, she walked towards the conference room and seeing Alex in her stunning self made her legs go all wobbly. After the fiasco last night she decided to give the cold shoulder to Alex and did not even looked at her, which left Alex puzzled and amused. Piper was acting as if she was a teenager were Alex's thoughts. All her life it was her who was in charge of a relationship but she would like to see someone taking control for a change. But Piper was not giving away. She looked like the cold hearted ice princess. She avoided Alex's gaze and answered with one word or two for most of the questions Alex asked her, regarding the conference and Alex was not stupid to read the signs, **back off.** With her charms, there was absolutely nothing Alex could not have but Alex liked games too. _If this is what Piper Chapman wants, this is exactly what she is gonna get_. It was painful to sit next to Piper but not talking. And they did everything within their power not to see each other on their own in the next day and half. It was always with others and both of them were fully aware of the fact that they were avoiding each other.

But when they were driving back home, they could not do it because journey home means they have to sit in the same vehicle, for hours. When Alex was driving, she deliberately let her hand touch Piper's and she was shocked to see the sparks. It was as if she touched a thunderbolt and wondered whether Piper felt the same.

 **I love to write like a madman likes the moon**

 **I need to release my pain**

 **It kills me,eats me inside**

 **Pricking my eyes, stabbing my heart**

 **There is a rush,of words**

 **Like a river**

 **But now I feel frozen…**

Piper wanted to forget about all what happened for the last forty eight hours, especially the way she threw herself and how Alex rejected her and that moment their hands bruised and how sparks flew all over. She was eating her favourite ice cream, Häagen-Dazs, a good way to forget things that were no longer material to her. Alex Vause was an arrogant one and she was determined to avoid her as much as she could. She clicked on her favorite blog, loveamongotherthings _Oh, there are new poems._ She was absolutely stunned by the way this blogger wrote her poetry and prose. She felt a deep sense of longing to know him or her. It was obvious he or she is so much pain. Every word was perfectly agonizing.

 **I love to write like a madman likes the moon**

 **I need to release my pain**

 **It kills me,eats me inside**

 **Pricking my eyes, stabbing my heart**

This person is really, really in pain and Piper felt it in her bones. The words were so intense and she was almost falling in love with these words. Intensity in a person was something she adored. Larry was useless in that department or in any department. Since of late he has become a mere companion and they were falling out which was fine. She was never quite fond of Larry and it was Larry who chased her. Initially the chase was good but then it has lost the spark and they were dangerously moving into a comfort zone which Piper detested. Normal and easy was not her things. She loved to see someone with fire and passions and with intensity. The more she followed this blog, the more she thought about this mysterious A.V.

She almost typed " _I love you poet_ " but checked herself and changed it into " _I love the intensity in your poetry. Let the emotions flow, do not stop it. May you be free of your pain."_ she loved if she could get to know this enigma of a person. There was no way to know but to follow the blog. She decided to be patient and not wear her heart on her sleeve.


	7. Chapter 7

**I have read that** **"** **There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment" which is so true. Living my life and hope you all would love this chapter.**

* * *

She almost typed " I love you poet" but checked herself and changed it into " _I love the intensity in your poetry. Let the emotions flow, do not stop it. May you be free of your pain."_ she loved if she could get to know this enigma of a person. There was no way to know but to follow the blog. She decided to be patient and not wear her heart on her sleeve.

* * *

"I'm in love with you," he said quietly.

"Augustus," I said.

"I am," he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."

― **John Green** , **The Fault in Our Stars**

* * *

The week was hectic and seeing Piper Chapman everyday made Alex restless. The 75th anniversary of the Daily Planet was coming up and Jeremy was still not well. They, as the culture section have to contribute handsomely to the Magazine the paper was doing this time and Since Alex did all the proof reading, everyone automatically assumed Alex knew everything which made her work day and night. When it was the third night on trot for her to work til late, she decided to stay in the office and do her work. No one needed to know and she could have sleep in the sofa in Jeremy's office, can get a sandwich from the vending machine and make herself useful rather than rushing home after midnight and coming again in early morning.

She wanted to update her blog as well, so she switched on her iPad and kept it aside and read the instructions Jeremy send through an e mail. For her understanding and simplicity, she jot down each and every point briefly on her notebook. Alex was a smart person and she had a sharp wit which made Jeremy trust her fully. If she understood the basis of it, she could pick a topic and write an article about it. Feeling bit parched, she went to the coffee machine but coffee was out and she was feeling sleepy. She set the alarm in her phone for one hour and then lay down on the sofa. She was asleep within seconds. That was how tired she was.

Piper thought her laptop was in her work bag but it was not and she did not realize it until she was ready for bed. Usually she read her favourite blogs, since of late one blog, before going to bed and she knew without reading the blog it would be impossible for her to sleep because she was so drawn to the words of this mysterious writer. She quickly changed herself into a tank top and shorts and jumped into her car and when she asked the security guard to open the office, he said there was a person inside, working and Piper wondered who it was. She walked passing Jeremy's room, saw the bright light and could not help but to peek inside.

Alex Vause.

Sleeping like a Greek Goddess, so serene and ethereal, Piper lost her heart beat. She wondered what Alex was doing and she tiptoed to Alex's table. Jeremy's email and Alex's note made her smile. _She is a hardworking woman_. Piper liked that in a person. Rather than escaping from responsibility she liked how Alex was dealing with it. she was about to leave the room when something familiar caught her eye. A blog. **Loveamongotherthings** and the curser blinked in the draft where Alex was writing a poem.

 _Fuck_

 _Is it Alex then?_

 _Is she a poet?_

 _Am I reading her poetry?_

 _FUCK FUCK FUCK_

Piper could not help but read the poem and wondered whether it was a complete poem.

 **How can I forget you?**

 **It is not easy as it sounds**

 **I have to let go of my mortal body**

 **Ending my existence**

 **And find another vessel**

 **I feel your love in my blood**

 **Carrying your name around my veins**

 **The heart would be dissected and bury**

 **May be on a higher ground**

 **For I always loved winds**

 **My mind would be thoughtless**

 **Would it recognize you?**

 **I wonder**

 **Most importantly**

 **My soul**

 **You said we are one**

 **We are**

 **Deeply connected**

 **I feel you when I close my eyes**

 **It is insanely painful**

 **But yes**

 **My soul always seeks you**

 **From sunrise to sunset**

 **From chilly winds to ice flakes**

 **My soul yearns for you**

 **The waiting never ends**

 **My love…**

 **A.V**

She did not want to wake Alex up. But she was overwhelmed by her discovery. Alex Vause. Who would have thought. But she was bloody glad and went out of the room, beaming about her secret.

Alex woke up when she heard the sound of her alarm. She saw the strangest of dream and she remembered every detail. She kissed Piper Chapman in her dreams and she could still taste her in the mouth. May be longing to kiss her was so much,probably this was her mind's way of telling Alex to get things going. Honestly, there was nothing Alex could do about it. She got the chance and she could have just go for it but she wanted everything to be perfect. Guess it was her own stupidity. Seeing someone was one thing and seeing someone kissing was another. She sighed while she published her drafted poem in her blog.

Alex was going to reply Jeremy with her observations and heard the notification sound from her blog.

 **From : PC84**

 **You still seems to be in love my friend.**

Alex thought of commenting on it and hit the reply button.

 **It's complicated**

Which was true but she was surely as hell over Sylvie.

Another notification.

 **PC84**

 **You deserve to be happy**

Alex replied,

 **I don't even know anymore. I used to. I had grand plans. Now, I can't even get past the swirling darkness in my brain long enough to land on anything.**

Just when she was about to sign off, she saw one notification in her emails. She opened it and was not surprised to see who the sender was.

 **PC84**

 **Are you okay? I just loved the way you write and thought is it okay to contact you in person, through emails? Hope it's okay?**

Alex wanted to send that email to Jeremy and it can wait couple of minutes.

 **A.V**

 **As I said it's complicated. But yes, you can contact me through emails.**

 **PC84**

 **You seemed to be in so much pain. The way you express yourself, so delicate, I am intrigued.**

 **A.V**

 **Thanks for taking your time in commenting. They are quite fascinating.**

 **PC84**

 **I do not have the right words to express my emotions. I have never come across something like yours. Are you a writer by profession? Is there any other publications I can read? I would love that**

 **A.V**

 **Unfortunately no. I have only this blog and although I work in the publication sector, I do not quite have the chance to publish my original work**

 **PC84**

 **May I ask what do you do? I hope it's not personal**

 **A.V**

 **I work in a newspaper.**

 **PC84**

 **I think you better talk to your boss about having your own poetry page. In my eyes, you are on par with any poet in the past or present.**

 **A.V**

 **My boss is bit difficult**

 **PC84**

 **Is he? What's his name? Let me handle him. (lol) You deserve to be heard**

 **A.V**

 **It's a she and she is a dragon lady**

 **PC84**

 **Seriously? A real dragon with scales and breathing fire? Interesting. Especially in New York**

Alex loved the easy going banter and how witty PC84 is. But it's late and she had to find a topic for that article she was gonna write. So she wrote,

 **A.V**

 **Yes. she is too hot to handle by the way. I am working at the moment. Shall I talk later if it's okay?**

 **PC84**

 **Late night? What are you doing up? Dragon lady gave you detention all night?**

 **A.V**

 **Noooo I have to write something for the first time and I am racking my brain what I should write. It has to be a fresh subject and should be interesting too. They are gonna let it published in a magazine that we are gonna have for the 75th Anniversary. But my brain is dead. I cannot think straight.**

Piper chuckled and typed,

 **PC84  
So you work for the daily planet. I know the editor. Piper Chapman. So you think she is a dragon lady?**

Alex was dumbfounded. This person whoever was, knew Piper Chapman and she had said two things about her that she immediately regretted. That her editor was too hot to handle and she nicknamed her as dragon lady. _This is what doomsday look like._ She did not know what to do but hated her foot in the mouth disease, that springs up to life in most crucial times. _What has just happened?_

 _PC84_

 _Are you still there? I do not know her personally and your secrets are safe with me. So relax. And by the way, why don't you write an article about modern blogging. It is one of the best ways that writers can present their work to a greater audience and you are a living proof._

Alex thought it's best to stop but she liked that idea. She had enough shock for a day. She wrote a simple email.

 _A.V_

 _Thanks. I will think about it._

And with that inspiration she began to type, her very own article, about modern day blogging.


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter was written in bit of a haste. Honeyjoy888, hope you are happy now?**

* * *

Alex thought it's best to stop but she liked that idea. She had enough shock for a day. She wrote a simple email.

 ** _A.V_**

 ** _Thanks. I will think about it._**

And with that inspiration she began to type, her very own article, about modern day blogging.

* * *

"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

― **Oscar Wilde**

* * *

Alex thought that article came up pretty well and by 7am, she had emailed it to Jeremy too. He was delighted to read it and told Alex that he would personally call the Editor about this article because he knew how Alex felt about her. She saw a note on her table when she came from Jeremy's personal bathroom, after refreshing herself with a shower. It was from Polly.

 **Alex,**

 **I Called**

 **Meet the Editor ASAP.**

 **Polly**

Alex had the shock of her life after reading it. She was pretty sure PC84 had something to do with this. Bloody internet and bloody reviews. She braced herself and mastered all the courage she could find and knocked Piper Chapman's door.

Piper could not stop smiling like a teenager when she saw Alex entering her room. _This is gonna be fun._ She felt a magnetic push towards Alex, especially after knowing very well that she was the author of her favourite blog. Even before that she was so drawn to Alex and now she felt that this was meant to be. But she was going to have a little fun.

"Anything urgent?"

"I read your article"

"You did? Jeremy said he will sent it to you."

"It's pretty good. Good topic"

Alex just smiled. She wanted to run away from that opened door as soon as she finish this conversation.

"And I have learnt that you spent the night here yesterday?"

"I did. I wanted to finish some work"

"But no one informed me about it"

"I'm sorry. I have done that before when Mr. Demarco was here."

"Ms. Vause. Mr. Demarco is NOT here now but I am. This is my office now. I should know what is going on here"

Alex was silent.

"Do you understand me?"

"Yes"

Alex mumbled.

"I asked do you understand me"

"Yes ma'me"

"You can go now"

Alex literally ran for her life. Piper Chapman was a dragon lady and Alex got proof now.

* * *

Although Alex wanted to go home and sleep Nicky called her and asked her to come to the pub since they are short staffed and the Manager had promised to pay double for an hour. Alex dragged herself to the pub and voluntarily asked Nicky whether she had anything to lift herself up, except coffee and came the brownpaper bag. After couple of gulps, her head felt dizzy but she had to be strong for couple of hours. She changed into her uniform and picked up the next order and went to Table number 12.

 _Can this day go any worse?_ Piper Chapman with her man Barry or whoever it was.

Piper looked up and saw Alex and her face did not even changed. She thanked Alex for bringing up their order and that's about it. When Alex left the table she saw Piper whispering something to the man's ears. Alex did not mind Mr. Demarco seeing her working in the pub but Piper Chapman was quite judgmental as far as Alex thought. And she had this ice princess, cold glare as Alex later explained to Nicky.

All Piper felt was unexplained sadness when she saw Alex in the pub and it was obvious for her why a person like Alex worked there. She was teasing Alex and almost playing her but that day, that moment was crucial for Piper. She decided to treat Alex better,get to know her and make Alex like her. To heck with that, make Alex love her.

Alex could not remember how she made home that day and all she remembered was going straight to bed and sleeping like a was thankful that the next day was saturday and she had no work. Out of habit, the first thing Alex usually do was sipping her tea and checking her emails and she saw three emails by PC84. She clicked them one by one.

 **PC84 (8.10am)**

 **No updates. (sad face)**

 **PC84 (8.30am)**

 **Hope the dragon lady treated you better**

 **PC84(9.00am)**

 **Hope you are okay and doing well. Hope you are not afraid to talk to me. I know your boss is a dragon lady, for a fact. So you are not alone. Xoxo**

Alex smiled reading the last email. So she was not the only one who think so. she quickly updated her blog and decided to go to office and sort some last minute things. _Hope Piper Chapman must be sleeping in today._

 **Go with the flow**

 **Bend your head**

 **And go with the flow**

 **Let people walk all over you**

 **Let them dominate?**

 **Would you go with the flow**

 **Or stand and fight**

 **When your feel**

 **You soul been snatched?**

 **Fight for your life**

 **Fight for your love**

 **Fight for what you believe is right**

" **Open your mind**

 **Feed your hope**

 **Find your truth"**

Piper was in the office when she got a notification in her email, saying that her favourite poet had published another poem. She quickly read it and felt it was different than her usual poems. There was passion and intensity in it, but in a whole new level. She quickly commented,

 **PC84**

 **Different but loved it.**

She started to read the Annual report last year and saw in the corner of her eyes Alex Vause coming through the corridor and going inside Jeremy's office. She felt excited because she knew for a fact only Alex and herself was in the office that day. She dialed Jeremy's direct number and heard Alex's voice on the other side.

"Alex"

"Yes"

"It's me"

"Who?"

"Piper"

"Oh"

 _This is gonna be another nightmare_

"Come and help me with my report please. I asked Polly to come but she is not here yet."

 _Smooth Chapman. A white lie_

"I will"

Alex hated the fact that she came to office that day. She could have slept, or buy her groceries or do anything under the sun than meeting her Editor today which was a real pain in the ass. But now there was no escape. She cannot refuse to help her boss while she was there, in the premises. She walked slowly towards Piper's office. The door was open and Piper was making coffee.

"A coffee Alex."

"Umm.."

"Two sugar?"

"Yes, please"

"Thanks for coming without running away. I know I have that effect on people but I am not that bad."

 _Piper Chapman is human after all._

Alex wanted to know how can she help the Editor. Piper explained that she wanted Alex to read the report while she'd focus on what was important. Alex started reading in her deep, husky voice which almost melted Piper. She was listening to the sound of Alex's voice not the content. At one point she had to stop Alex because she did not like to see Alex getting tired while Piper was lost in her day dreams.

"I'm hungry. Shall we order pizza from Papa John's. My treat"

"Pizza is fine"

"Any flavors you like?"

"Pepperoni. But anything you like."

Alex did not want to provoke her boss over some pizza.

"Nah, I love it. "

Piper ordered a large pepperoni pizza with cheese sticks and wings in honey chipotle sauce and chocolate chip brownies for dessert. Till it was delivered Piper talked about various subjects and Alex listened to her in awe. Piper was really a smart woman, bit uptight but she knew what she was doing and she was very pleasant to Alex today completely different than yesterday. Alex wondered whether Piper was actually bipolar and that thought made her chuckle silently.

The pizza arrived and they began to relax devouring the familiar tastes without much talk. They smiled a lot, staring at each other's eyes and fought for the last piece like kids. Alex could have had it but she looked not so eager so Piper can have it and the dessert was divine. Piper tried to wipe away the melted chocolates in Alex's upper lip and the touch brought back memories. But Alex was not sure of any of these. All she knew was Piper was her boss and she could be a total introvert tomorrow. And Alex did not even remotely show she was interested but underneath,her body was yearning for Piper's touch. It was a curse to feel things more intensely Alex thought while she started reading the report to Piper.


	9. Chapter 9

**Not so long chapter but hope this would keep you sane and wanting more. I am in love and I am truly very happy.**

* * *

The pizza arrived and they began to relax devouring the familiar tastes without much talk. They smiled a lot, staring at each other's eyes and fought for the last piece like kids. Alex could have had it but she looked not so eager so Piper can have it and the dessert was divine. Piper tried to wipe away the melted chocolates in Alex's upper lip and the touch brought back memories. But Alex was not sure of any of these. All she knew was Piper was her boss and she could be a total introvert tomorrow. And Alex did not even remotely show she was interested but underneath,her body was yearning for Piper's touch. It was a curse to feel things more intensely Alex thought while she started reading the report to Piper.

* * *

 **I could not tell you if I loved you the first moment I saw you, or if it was the second or third or fourth. But I remember the first moment I looked at you walking toward me and realized that somehow the rest of the world seemed to vanish when I was with you."**

― **Cassandra Clare** **,** **Clockwork Prince**

* * *

The day was still young but hours,minutes and seconds passed in each other's company and they lost track of time. At times Alex wondered what must be on Piper's mind when she looked at herlost in thoughts but did not pursue on the subject. After hour or so , Alex excused herself and went to Jeremy's office room because she had the sudden urge to publish a poem.

 **Love is full of little idiosyncrasies**

 **And really make us all fools**

 **Such a dangerous game**

 **Compromising sanity too**

 **I would rather love like a fool**

 **And I wear my heart on my sleeve**

 **Than live in a cage**

 **Hands tied, blindfolded,**

 **With deceit and pretence**

 **I would rather love and die**

 **Than pretend and live forever**

 **I would choose love**

 **Over and over…**

 **A.V**

Just like a junkie running for his secret stash, Alex ran for his poetry and Piper thought it must be her when she heard a chime in her email notifications and checked out the poem by Alex. it was brilliant like any other poems and Piper wanted to leave a longer comment but she knew Alex could come anytime and decided against it.

Alex's thoughts and words always left the readers ponder and yearn for more. That's where her poetry was so good. Unless Alex talk about it, Piper did not want to discuss about the blog but she had lot of things in her mind if they discuss it someday. She simply adored Alex's writings and she wanted Alex to know.

Alex came back after 10 minutes, looking pleased and Piper was just happy to be around her. It was after two more hours that they finished and Piper offered a lift to Alex which Alex accepted because she had her evening shift in the pub. They got into the elevator from the 12th floor and just at the moment Piper pressed **P** in the elevator for the parking lot, they felt the elevator stop moving with a thud. They tried pressing the emergency button and try calling for help but since no one was working that day, there was not much they can do. Piper asked for Alex's phone since hers was already dead but unfortunately Alex has left her phone at home that day. So they sat down in the opposite corners and waited. No point of panicking because they had to deal with each other for sometime now.

* * *

Piper looked at Alex and despite the gravity of the situation, her heart was fluttering like a teenager's. She imagined herself pushed to the corner wall of the elevator by Alex and that mere thought made her feel moist in right places. It was definitely getting warmer inside and she was not aware it was because of the actual rising of temperature or because of the fact that she was unable to breathe in and out the same air as the extremely hot Alex Vause. Alex was aware of the way Piper looked at her and she looked directly at Piper, without breaking the stare she walked few steps towards Piper's direction and both were aware something explosive was going to happen but both were unprepared. Piper thought about all the hours she spent today staring at Alex's full lips and wondered how warm they might feel pressed up against hers. As if she read Piper's mind,Alex slowly pushed her against the wall of the elevator and pressed her lips on to Piper's lips and as their mouths crushed together, Piper felt as if she was walking on air and the kiss was nothing but magical and everything she could ever dreamt of. Her mouth was so warm, the caress of her lips softer than Piper could have imagined and she opened her mouth with a low moan.

" Piper"

She heard someone saying her name and it was Alex. she opened her eyes and looked around, the elevator door opened now and she wondered what had happened. Alex was smirking and she was sitting in a corner of the elevator and she whispered,

" what time is it?"

"It's 6 in the evening."

"How long was I sleeping?"

"More than an hour or so."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You were sleeping so peacefully. I did not want to disturb you. And the help came around 10minutes ago. You were saying my name if I heard right. Were you dreaming of me?"

Piper was embarrased about how verbal she could be during her sleep and ignored the question with a mere shrug. _Now I have to work again harder to get that hot kiss back, for real this time._

Piper asked Alex where she needed to go and Alex gave the address of the pub. Piper almost asked the reasons for working in the pub from Alex but the silence between them was too awkward. She better come up with a plan to shatter the silence of this hot Poet, Alex Vause, she thought when she drove away from the Donegal Pub, leaving Alex behind.

* * *

Piper wanted to leave a solid impact on Alex's blog that night. So she sat down and wrote,

 **PC84**

 **Love is a magnetic feeling and you feel a strong pull towards the person you think is right. Just like in the poem, I would love and lost rather than wait and ponder. Love is living the life on the edge and living dangerously. There is always the possibility of loosing everything and going back to square one but I believe love is worth it. No one has gained anything without risking. I would rather love one day than living a lie for thousand years.**

Those were her true feelings and she was sure that Alex would read them and ponder. Coming home tired and after having her meal fixed, Alex was happy to see the longer comment and felt a sense of frustration in that comment as if it is personally directed to someone. She checked the email address of PC84 and sent a simple "Hi" to see whether PC84 was online through the messenger. The reply was immediate.

 **PC84**

 **Hi back**

 **A.V**

 **Are you okay?**

 **PC84**

 **Yup**

 **A.V**

 **Yup?**

 **You sound bit off**

 **PC84**

 **You know nothing about me.**

 **A.V**

 **So is this how you shut people away? I was just asking**

 **PC84**

 **You are just name, a faceless person who know nothing about the things I have to face on daily basis**

 **A.V**

 **Is there anything I can do to make you feel better? I mean it**

 **PC84**

 **I like this person, like this person a lot and I have no idea what is going through her mind.**

 **A.V**

 **You have a name and a number. Do you want me to talk to this person.**

 **PC84**

 **That is very big of you but everytime I try something, this person shuts herself up. Probably lots of skeletons in her closet.**

 **A.V**

 **I think you better ask this person what's going on and start a friendship first and see where it would lead you guys to.**

 **PC84**

 **You think I better ask her what's on her mind?**

 **A.V**

 **Yup**

 **PC84**

 **What's on your mind?**

 **A.V**

 **Pardon me?**

 **PC84**

 **You heard me right. What's on your mind?**

Alex paused before typing the answer and wondered. PC84 seems to like her a lot it seems and she liked that. But she did not know anything about her. Not even the fact that it's a she or a he. She loved the banter between them and decided to play cool

 **A.V**

 **Nothing much. Who are you PC84 and why do you like me?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Here we go again and I hope you would like the poetry (which is mine). Many dmed me in Instagram about my blog. It's loveamongotherthings and it is a wordpress blog.**

 **Enjoy !**

* * *

 **PC84**

 **You heard me right. What's on your mind?**

Alex paused her typing the answer and wondered. PC84 seems to like her a lot it seems and she liked that. But she did not know anything about her. Not even the fact that it's a she or a he. She loved the banter between them and decided to play cool.

 **A.V**

 **Nothing much. Who are you PC84 and why do you like me?**

* * *

" **Colpo di fulmine. The thunderbolt, as Italians call it. When love strikes someone like lightning, so powerful and intense it can't be denied. It's beautiful and messy,**

 **cracking a chest open and spilling their soul out for the world to see. It turns a person inside out, and there's no going back from it. Once the thunderbolt hits, your life is**

 **irrevocably changed."**

― **J.M. Darhower** **,** **Sempre**

* * *

Piper did not expect such a question from Alex but decided to play diplomatically. She wanted to have this aura of mystery around her till she get to know Alex. So she typed,

 **PC84**

 **Well, I am a woman for starters. (lol)**

 **Have you read this** **Elizabeth Barrett Browning** ' **s poem, not that it's relevant to your question.**

 **How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
For the ends of being and ideal grace.  
I love thee to the level of every day's  
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.  
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.  
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.  
I love thee with the passion put to use  
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.  
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose  
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,  
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,  
I shall but love thee better after death.**

 **I like you because of the fact you are a poet, a writer and mighty good the way you write I feel you are smart, funny and witty and you know how to express your emotions through your writing. It's intense and passionate and I see a fire burning bright inside you.**

Alex was overwhelmed by the adoration this PC84 has to offer. It is just an online contact but she felt special. This person wherever she was but sharing the same earth, cared about her and let Alex know how she felt. Alex loved her choice of words and felt confident about herself. PC84 seems a well versed person and liked poetry. Something Alex loved dearly. She could not help but think that there was an invisible bond that was developing between this PC84 and herself.

 **A.V**

 **I always loved the poem. One of the first poems I have read by Elizabeth Browning. Have you read this poem by me? An older one.**

 **ALWAYS AND FOREVER…**

 **I am not the perfect person**

 **I express myself too often,**

 **With sudden fits of emotional rage**

 **And sobs which you can't fathom**

 **I gaze your side at times with an expression you won't understand**

 **I am not easy to handle**

 **I am a time bomb at times**

 **All these times, all these ups and downs**

 **All my bad moods,**

 **And good moods**

 **You bore with indifference**

 **You hate my tears**

 **It may unsettle you**

 **But you know why I cry too**

 **I miss you too much**

 **Too often at times**

 **And me be the naïve one,**

 **I hide in my gloomy cell**

 **My love for you**

 **Is the same like before**

 **Many years ago,**

 **You fell for me**

 **And wanted me to be your girl**

 **I was not prepared**

 **You were never disheartened**

 **And you won me over**

 **My heart, soul and spirit became yours**

 **I have given you heartburns**

 **Aches and pains of all the sort**

 **For that, please do forgive me**

 **I am a simple girl**

 **And I am in love with you**

 **I may not be satisfying you at times**

 **My ways are outdated and weird**

 **Sometimes our bed may be colder than usual**

 **The fire is intact**

 **But my love is growing day by day**

 **More than the first day**

 **I have never waived from my original path**

 **To make you happy, the best way possible**

 **Is my plan**

 **Till my last breath**

 **I try to do so**

 **Maybe you don't know how much you mean to me**

 **Maybe you feel angry, when I say my days are colourless without you**

 **I am not an extremist but a lover**

 **A giver and I care**

 **I express myself too often and I think it's not unfair**

 **You are always the pillar of my strength**

 **But I wish I could hug you more often**

 **How much I crave for a hug**

 **Your warmth I could die for**

 **And I miss that**

 **If you hold me closer to your heart**

 **If I can hear the beat**

 **When you stroke my hair, kissing my forehead**

 **Am I asking too much from you?**

 **I love you so very much**

 **I am thankful every minute for you**

 **You are everything I dreamt of**

 **A little bit more and it is my bliss**

 **My life is in your hands**

 **My spirit is yours my babe**

 **My soul is yours, hope it pleases you**

 **I love you, you are my choice…**

Piper was amazed by the capacity of Alex's love. Obviously it's not just words. It was how she really feels. Piper was thinking what should be the very thing that would make writers feel deeply and intensely. She should ask Alex about it someday. Well, someday, she sighed and typed,

 **PC84**

 **Wow. this was awesome. You must be really in love.**

 **A.V**

 **It's a long story. But in a nutshell, let's say "used to be", not "anymore"**

 **PC84**

 **I get that. I truly get that. If you love someone, you just love someone, with your heart and soul and when you fall out you are just lost. What you said, what you wrote, those things you did, that was not an adventure or romp. That was your life. You cannot erase that part of your life but live with the memory always right?**

Alex could not believe what she was reading. It's as if this person was reading her mind. No one had ever touched her mind like PC84. The fact that she care was visible in every word she wrote. Alex had a sudden urge to know her, to talk to her and to see her. Alex wondered where she must be living and smiled to herself because it seemed as if she was ready to stalk this PC84. In her mind Sylvie was a distant memory and the more she thought about Sylvie, the more she realized she was not exactly in love but was in love with the idea of being in love. Sylvie must have loved her or was infatuated with the idea of being in love with someone who's expressive and who was fierce in her own way.

Without thinking twice Alex typed,

 **AV**

 **Are you on whatsapp? If it's okay, can I talk to you?**

It was not what Piper expected, at least not this soon. She wondered if she called Alex, would she recognize her as the "Dragon Lady" but thought it would be highly unlikely. Alex would never even dream this would be her boss. And it would be very very interesting. She wanted to know more of Alex and this would be a great chance. She said,

 **PC84**

 **Of course it's okay. Mine is +1 587 403 9991**

In few seconds Piper heard her phone ringing and it was a whatsapp voice call.

"Hello" she said and she felt her whole body was trembling in excitement.

"Hi" Piper heard the sultry voice she was dreaming to hear and almost melted.


	11. Chapter 11

Short chapter again and I am sorry.

*All poetry, MINE..

* * *

" **We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love."**

― **Robert Fulghum** **,** **True Love**

* * *

In few seconds Piper heard her phone ringing and it was a whatsapp voice call.

"Hello" she said and she felt her whole body was trembling in excitement.

"Hi" Piper heard the sultry voice she was dreaming to hear and almost melted.

* * *

"After all these time, who would thought" and Piper thought this would be it. If Alex knew it was the "dragon lady" and that would be the end of it. The end even before the beginning. Or the beginning of the end. She smiled at her ability to twist words even at a moment of desperation. _Not a good trait right?_

"What do you mean" Piper felt anxiety in her voice but could not help it.

"I mean who would thought we would go to the next level of getting to know each other", she heard Alex chuckle and felt relieved.

" Well, if there is any consolation, I thought you were one of the best poets I have ever read"

Piper tried to find her words, she had to start somewhere and the compliment was not a lie.

"It was very nice of you to comment. I really appreciate a good comment. It makes me feel appreciated, you know what I mean? As if there is someone out there, that actually gets me?"

" I know exactly what you meant. It's as if even though we are in a room full of people but nobody gets us at times, as if they walk all over us but leaving us questioning our own sanity. One person is enough to make that perception demolished."

'You are very good with your words. I am sure your work must be with words too"

 _Alex has started to read me_ was Piper's first thought but she was determined to be mysterious as Possible. She wanted to know the real Alex Vause, in her most vulnerable and primary self, she wanted to know what and who would haunt Alex and help her to fight those demons from hell.

" Well, you are right and let us leave it there. What about you? How is your dragon lady now?"

"My dragon lady?" Alex could not stop laughing when PC84 used such a word to describe Piper. " she would never be mine"

" You would never know. Anything is possible. That is what I believe all the time. May be she is the love of your life, Just give it sometime"

" I really like your jokes. They are actually quite hilarious."

"I was not being funny, I was being serious"

"Well, If I am brutally honest and since of late she is acting better and at one point she convinced me by her behaviour that she actually has a heart. And you know what, I have a theory."

 _This is getting more and more interesting._ Piper was intrigued.

" Well, I would love to hear it, do tell"

" This would take some time and it's already pretty late."

"I am up for it, if you are"

"I am bit tired. I was stuck in the elevator with my boss in the eve"

"Wow, sound sexy."

" She is hot and gorgeous if I am honest with you. Funny thing is she whispered my name while she was taking a nap while the technicians fix the elevator."

Piper felt a blush although she could not see Alex. so Alex thinks she is hot and gorgeous. _And of course she heard me saying her name when she was kissing me in that dream._ It was an awkward situation but when she thought about it everything seemed so funny. She decided to play along.

" So your boss is hot and gorgeous and how old exactly? How come she is taking a nap till the technicians fix the blip? She sounds boring"

" She is not that old, about my age and now don't ask how old I am. Anyhow everything that has happened so far makes my theory interesting."

"Ok, Einstein, go ahead"

"Thanks for the compliment, haha, that's a first. So my boss has a boyfriend. I seriously don't know why they are together and as far as I have seen them together, he is just like a puppy hovering around her but I don't judge people, correction, I do judge people for my own amusement but I have never discussed people."

" Ok, go on" _Alex hit the nail on the head with Larry._

" So I think when the puppy face makes dragon lady happy, I bet that is not happening often or at all, she is in a better mood"

Piper almost died laughing. She hardly see Larry now. Anyway he was not her type. She has stopped answering calls from him or texts. They never discussed themselves as a couple although she was sure Larry would like it, would love it but she could not be bothered. Larry's whole existence made her feel boring and old. It was true that she had sex with him many times but that was mostly when she was drunk more than she should. No one with right mind would even go near Larry. It sound harsh but it was the truth.

She loved the way Alex looked at things, how she made everything so light hearted and interesting and funny. The more she listened to Alex, the more she was drawn. And she wondered when could she prove that Alex's theory was wrong, it was not actually Larry but Alex who make her happy. Someday but not today…

* * *

"Any poems you are working on" Piper did not want to end the conversation.

" Just wrote one out of boredom. Not gonna publish it. Just scribbled"

"Will you read it to me?"

 _Are you flirting Piper chapman?_

"Of course, you are my Number one fan"

"Thanks"

"Well, it goes like this, it is pretty stupid I know.

 **I sit still**

 **Listening to the beat of my own heart**

 **For a change**

 **I close my eyes**

 **My heart still beats**

 **And I do feel**

 **I go to bed**

 **It has not stop beating**

 **Not yet**

 **For once**

 **In my life**

 **I'm glad**

 **I have a heart**

 **That beats...**

"It's nice."

"Just nice?"

"Different, seems you are feeling alone"

"Aren't we all?"

"Not if you are with the right company. But better to be alone than to be in bad company"

" You know what? I like you."

"You like me? You have to promise you won't fall in love with me. Haha"

"Walk to remember, I am impressed"

"So I got to go. It's late. So I will see you around?"

"I will be seeing you kid. I will be"

"Goodnight"

"Goodnight"

Piper hung up and sighed. She felt at peace and relaxed. Alex's voice and her words calmed her nerves and she went to sleep that day as a happy soul. And she dreamt of Alex all night.

Before going to sleep Alex wrote just one poem. She was happy to talk to this stranger over the phone. Her demons still wandering inside her mind and she was giving into them all the time. She wanted to be loved, to love someone so deeply and to feel the warmth but was afraid to love. Terrified. Love had a tendency to fool her and she did not want to be fooled twice.

 **I don't want to be a forgotten memory**

 **A momentary fling**

 **Where desires met and melt**

 **I don't want to be a yesterday's song**

 **A haphazard melody**

 **Because haste makes waste**

 **I want to be that ripple in your soul**

 **That would drive you insane**

 **I want to be that vein in your heart**

 **That would let you breathe in and out…**

When Alex went to the pub for her shift next day, she saw an attractive brunette staring at her. She was in the uniform, so she was the new hire Red was talking about but there was something about her that made Alex wondered. It was her eyes. They were blue and was full of intensity. Alex asked Lorna who she was.

" Her name is Natalie and she is the new part time server. She would work her shifts with you and you have to show the ropes"

Alex did not mind showing her around. She felt something inside when Natalie looked at her. She had something Alex liked the most. A dimple.


	12. Chapter 12

After two months of hiatus I am back. Lot of things have changed, mostly my plot line.I feel a surge of anger at the moment and usually writing calms me down. I want my calm self back. So I thought why not today?

Forgive me for the short chapter...

* * *

 **The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it."**

― **Woody Allen**

* * *

Before going to sleep Alex wrote just one poem. She was happy to talk to this stranger over the phone. Her demons still wandering inside her mind and she was giving into them all the time. She wanted to be loved, to love someone so deeply and to feel the warmth but was afraid to love. Terrified. Love had a tendency to fool her and she did not want to be fooled twice.

 **I don't want to be a forgotten memory**

 **A momentary fling**

 **Where desires met and melt**

 **I don't want to be a yesterday's song**

 **A haphazard melody**

 **Because haste makes waste**

 **I want to be that ripple in your soul**

 **That would drive you insane**

 **I want to be that vein in your heart**

 **That would let you breathe in and out…**

When Alex went to the pub for her shift next day, she saw an attractive brunette staring at her. She was in the uniform, so she was the new hire Red was talking about but there was something about her that made Alex wondered. It was her eyes. They were blue and was full of intensity. Alex asked Lorna who she was.

" Her name is Natalie and she is the new part time server. She would work her shifts with you and you have to show the ropes"

Alex did not mind showing her around. She felt something inside when Natalie looked at her. She had something Alex liked the most. A dimple.

* * *

Piper was floating like a feather that night. She felt a sense of completeness. Hearing Alex's voice yesterday over the phone seemed to be having a soothing effect on her. She checked Alex's blog before going to sleep and was impressed. She loved the way Alex express her emotions.

 **I want to be that vein in your heart**

 **That would let you breathe in and out…**

"This is beautiful" she thought. she saw Alex in her dreams, for the second time in two days.

Over the weekend Alex had to work almost twenty hours in the pub and had to be around Natalie a lot. She seemed like a nice girl with a genuine smile. Alex liked to make Natalie smile because of her fascination for the dimple. She was a hardworking girl and was keen to learn. Alex caught Natalie looking at her in awe couple of times but thought she must be dreaming of her lover who is far far away, according to what Nicky said.

Natalie adored Alex. From the moment she saw Alex, she felt a magnetic push towards Alex and felt her heart was somersaulting when she was around Alex. At one time, Alex showed her how to arrange food on a tray and their hands brushed and she almost lost her consciousness and felt electrocuted. She loved to look into Alex's eye and felt like kissing her by saturday evening but checked herself. Alex never spoke about her personal life but a hot girl like Alex must be having girls flocking wherever she go and Natalie did not even want to try but her feelings were running rampant by sunday.

Alex felt that too but did not encourage it. She was just recovering from a relationship and did not want anymore trouble. She was never a player who played with anyone's emotions and decided not to encourage Natalie. She liked to talk to her, Natalie had a way of talking and it calmed Alex and Alex liked her, a lot but it was not love. At least not at the moment.

On sunday night, Alex and Natalile were the last to go. Alex checked whether everything was ready for the next day and switched off lights in the kitchen and at the same time Natalie planted a soft kiss on Alex's lips. It was not at all a bad kiss. Alex did not expect it but she did not kiss her back nor pushed her away. Natalie pushed her towards the door and kissed her again and that time Alex did kiss her back. She was fed up of being on her own, being alone and being without a human touch for so long. It was a good kiss but Alex was not sure what to do. She was still sore from her past wounds and dating a co worker was trouble. Natalie started to nibble Alex's neck but Alex had to stop her.

"Why?"

Natalie whispered.

"I cannot do this"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No"

"Then what?"

"You and I, we work together"

"So what?"

"You have someone in your life right?"

"Who said so?"

"Nicky"

"Nicky is crazy"

"I'm still recovering from my ex"

"Let me help you"

"You cannot"

"Let me Love you Alex"

"Jesus, how can you talk about love? We barely know each other"

"If you love someone, you just know. You don't need to love that person for years."

"I still need time, Natalie. I don't want to hurt you"

"No strings attached Alex, what about that?"

 _She was persistent._

"Friends with benefits?"

"Yes"

"I don't do that Natalie. Sorry. If I love someone, I give my body, heart and soul. It is beyond sex."

"So you refuse me?"

 _Natalie sound mad right now._ Alex thought

"Let's take one day at a time, shall we?"

"Can I kiss you, at least once a day then?"

 _This girl is never giving up_

"As you wish."

"So when can I have my kiss?"

"Whenever you want"

"Everyday?"

"Okay. only one kiss. No touching"

"No touching but kissing?You are mad Alex."

"Okay. no kisses then"

"Okay okay. As you wish"

"I am tired Nat. I wanna go home"

"Shall I come with you?"

"To my home?"

"Yes"

"What part of one kiss a day you cannot understand?"

"A girl is offering herself to you and you just refuse?"

"Yes"

"Why?"

" I don't want trouble"

" Grow up and Just take me home Alex"

"And?"

"Do I have to spell out everything to you?"

Alex sighed. She was desperate to forget sylvie and move on. May be she could do it with Natalie's help.

"Okay"

"Okay what?"

"Let's go home"

Natalie was beaming with happiness. She wanted Alex and tonight she was gonna have Alex, for herself.


	13. Chapter 13

I will try to update often. Happy now?

* * *

" **Doubt thou the stars are fire;**

 **Doubt that the sun doth move;**

 **Doubt truth to be a liar;**

 **But never doubt I love."**

― **William Shakespeare** , **Hamlet**

* * *

Do I have to spell out everything to you?"

Alex sighed. She was desperate to forget sylvie and move on. May be she could do it with Natalie's help.

"Okay"

"Okay what?"

"Let's go home"

Natalie was beaming with happiness. She wanted Alex and tonight she was gonna have Alex, for herself.

* * *

Alex walked towards the car park of the pub where her motorbike was parked. Since of late, She had to figure out her mode of transportation because of the late hours of her shifts. She would always miss the last bus and always had to ask Nicky or whoever available to give her a lift. She did not like that and decided to buy a second hand bike. She took her keys out and just then heard her phone ringing. Although she was in the dark the phone screen displayed a name she could see.

Polly Harper…

"Polly, what's up?"

"Alex, where are you?"

"I'm at my other job. Just finished my shift"

"Alex, there is an emergency"

"Is Piper okay?"

 _From where that came from_

"Yes, she is fine, apart from not answering the phone"

"She must be asleep"

"Mr. Demarco had a severe heart attack and was hospitalized"

"Oh my God, is he okay?"

"He was saved because his son was able to take him to the hospital on time."

"Thank God"

"But there is one problem"

"What's that?"

"Piper has to sign some documents regarding his health insurance and I have emailed it to her. All she has to do is to sign and deliver. I cannot go because I'm in the hospital, with his wife and son. They are pretty shaken."

"You want me to go and get it done?"

"That's why I called Alex. I want someone responsible and someone whom I can completely trust to go there and bring it soon."

"I will do that, give me sometime"

"Thanks Alex. I will text you her home address and the hospital name and room we are in"

"Okay"

"Thanks a lot Alex."

"Anything for Mr. Demarco. He is like a father to me."

She hung up the phone and looked at Natalie who was waiting for her. Everything was so settled and they were about to go home and this must be a divine intervention to make sure Alex would not fall into trouble. By the look of Natalie's eyes Alex can see a mischievous gleam. May be this way it's better.

"Hey, I'm sorry but I have to go and do some urgent work. Rain check?"

"What's going on? Are you bailing out?"

Alex explained the situation but she sensed that Natalie was angry but there was nothing she could do about it.

Of course Natalie was angry. She wanted Alex the moment she saw her and she almost had her. Almost but not quite. She thought Alex came up with some last minute story to escape. _It would be a vodka and passionfruit night for herself_. Natalie thought while she watched Alex ride away in her motorbike.

It was almost 1am in the morning and Alex managed to locate the apartment Piper lived. She parked her bike and walked towards the door and softly knocked the door. There was no sound and then she saw the doorbell button. After pressing it couple of times, she heard some noise from the inside.

"Who's that?"

She heard Piper's voice.

"Alex Vause Ma'me"

Piper almost lost her sanity hearing Alex's voice. _Is this a dream_ , she had to pinch herself.

She almost ran to the door but managed to compose herself just before opening the door.

"Come on in"

Alex thanked her and went inside and sat on the sofa.

"Is everything okay?"

Alex explained about the situation and Piper switched on her ipad and retrieved all the necessary documents and printed them. Alex was sitting on the sofa and was playing a video game. When Piper wanted to ask which hospital Mr. Demarco was in, she looked at Alex's direction to found out she was sleeping. Piper did not want to wake up Alex. she must be dead tired Piper thought. She quickly changed and took her car keys and the documents, kept a note for Alex if she wake up and closed the door behind her and called Polly for directions. Alex can rest and she can go home in the morning.

Alex was sound asleep but woke up when she heard the engine of Piper's car. She blinked her eyes and it took some seconds for her to realize where she was and then she saw the note.

 **Alex,**

 **You have fallen asleep and I did not want to wake you.**

 **Have a shower, fresh clothes are ready on my bed, hope you can wear my clothes.**

 **There's a carrot cake in the fridge with some other stuffs. I did not go food shopping this week.**

 **Make yourself at home. I will be back soon.**

 **X**

 **Piper**

Alex felt grateful for Piper. She seemed to be a better person than Alex initially thought. Alex remembered how she called her, the dragon lady. She had a quick shower and changed into fresh clothes. The clothes fitted perfectly. Eating the cake and sipping some milk, she switched on her phone and clicked on the wordpress icon. PC84 has commented on couple of her poems and Alex commented back thanking her. She heard a sound in Piper's ipad but took no notice. Everytime she replied PC84, Piper's ipad had a blinking sound which made her intrigued. She clicked on the insurance papers and minimized it and saw wordpress icon on the desktop. Piper's email account was opened and all the replied that Alex sent through wordpress site was visible.

 _So Piper Chapman is PC84?_ Alex was shocked and glad about the revelation at the same time. She left Piper's computer as it was and slowly munched her cake and sipped her milk and smirked. So she actually spoke to Piper the other night. She wondered why Piper was silent about who she was. _Of course because she knew how I think about her. Dragon lady, that's what I called her. Jesus christ. I am such a mad one_.

she had a higher regard for PC84 and now after this revelation, she was in fact overjoyed. Piper chapman was a smart, funny and gorgeous woman. Such a killer combination as Nicky says. She really wanted to know where they were heading. And she was taking things slow as well. _This is good_. She thought to herself while reading the other comments in the blog.

Piper did not waste much time in the hospital. She made sure everything was alright and talked to Mrs. Demarco, her son and Polly and returned home with much haste. She wanted to spend some time with Alex. she wanted to know how she is like. She made a mental note to explain things to Larry. No point of him circling around her. She should be the independant woman she always wanted to be.

She opened the door and found Alex reading a magazine and she seemed so at ease in Piper's gray tee shirt and khaki shorts. Alex looked up from her magazine and look straight at Piper's eyes and Piper almost melted and she felt she could not move her legs. The gaze was intense and sexy. If they were together, Piper would just go and kiss Alex but sadly they were not, not even close.

Alex tapped the sofa besides her as if inviting Piper to come and sit next to her. Piper was just drawn to Alex and sat beside her, not breaking the gaze. Alex opened her mouth and said something. Piper was staring and wondering how soft those lips must be and Alex had to repeat her question three times but still Piper was clueless as her entire focus was on Alex's lips.

"Are you okay?"

"Hmm"

"Piper"

 _Earth to Piper, get a grip woman. Sweet jesus_

"Yes, Alex"

"Is he okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine."

"That's great. Thanks for having me tonight."

"No problem. I figured you must be tired."

"Dead tired"

"You can sleep on my bed tonight. I can be on the sofa."

"Don't be ridiculous. I will be on the sofa. I am a very simple person."

"You are my guest Alex"

"Nope, no way I'm sleeping on that bed"

"Then I'm going to sleep here as well"

"Are you going to sleep with me?"

It sounded sexy but both tried not to take any notice.

"Yes I am."

Alex almost said _bold move chapman_ but this was her boss and she should know her place so without making any comments she started to read her magazine.

Piper woke up the next day with the sound of birds chirping. She opened her eyes and the sight made her heart melt. Alex was sleeping on her lap and her hand was resting on Alex's shoulders. Such a peaceful sight, she could not help but ruffling Alex's hair and wondered when would she be able to kiss Alex's soft pink lips.


	14. Chapter 14

It is so damn hot here. Care for a twist?

* * *

" **However much you wanted someone to want you, there was nothing you could do to make it happen. Whatever you did for them, whatever you gave them, whatever you let them take, it could never be enough. Never enough to be sure. Never enough to satisfy them. Never enough to stop them walking away.**

 **Never enough to make them love you."**

― **Manna Francis** , **First Against the Wall**

* * *

Piper woke up the next day with the sound of birds chirping. She opened her eyes and the sight made her heart melt. Alex was sleeping on her lap and her hand was resting on Alex's shoulders. Such a peaceful sight, she could not help but ruffling Alex's hair and wondered when would she be able to kiss Alex's soft pink lips.

* * *

Alex felt her heart was about to explode. The kisses were so intense and passionate. Soft lingering kisses made her moan in ecstasy and she felt the meltdown. One kiss led to another and both of them were so turned on. Alex grabbed Piper's hair and kissed harder and as a deep sigh escaped her lips. It was unreal and Alex wanted more.

She heard Piper said "Don't stop"

Not sure what was really going on she looked around and remembered that she spent her night at Piper's. And she saw Piper and her swollen lips and realized that it was not a dream.

"What Happened?"

She was breathless and Piper looked at her with a seductive look.

"You kissed me"

"I what?

"You heard me right"

"Oh oh"

"Oh oh? Is that all you have to say?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Well, it was a good kiss, so don't be sorry but why did you kiss me?"

" I was dreaming"

"Of me?"

"Hmmmm…"

"Was it a good dream?"

"Yes, it was interesting"

"Was it? How so?"

"In my dream you kissed me back"

"Like this?"

And Piper planted a soft kiss on Alex's rosy lips which she dreamt of kissing few minutes ago. Both of them started breathing so hard as their tongues played with each other. Alex started to nibble Piper's ears and Piper wanted to go on, all the way, but she stopped herself. She did not want this to be a one time thing.

"Alex, stop."

"Did I do anything wrong?"

"No, but I want to take things slow"

"You want to take things slow where we are both melted like jelly?"

"Yes, I want to do this right. I don't want to lose you"

"Oh, I forgot. You are the big boss and I work under you so you make the rules. Jesus, what the heck am I doing here?"

"Just calm down Alex. listen to me."

" I'm sorry that I kissed you Miss. Chapman. Now you can go on stalking me"

"I can do what?"

"I know who you are"

"You sound as if I'm a mass murderer Alex. what did I do?"

"PC84, ring any bells?"

For the first time Piper was silent. She could not think of any sensible answer, she felt tongue tied and Alex was not done yet.

" what did you want? To ridicule me and my poetry?"

" Don't be crazy Alex. I honestly love your poetry and did not want you to be intimidate by me. I just wanted you to do your thing, in your own terms. It's your passion Alex. Just wanted you to know there are people in this world that appreciate your creativity."

"Big talks, you know what, I'm out of here"

Piper was helpless. Alex seemed so turned on and so was she but she did not want everything to be over in one day. A slow burn was what she wanted. Before Alex say something, she grabbed Alex by the waist and started kissing her. It was not planned. She wanted Alex to know how much she needed her. The desires were real but this was not the right time or place.

Alex did not expect that kiss but soon reciprocated. _Piper chapman is a goddamn good kisser_. Her frustration and anger soon disappeared and at that moment she began to relax. Usually she was bossy in a relationship but when Piper was in control, it was so hot and she almost came without any further actions.

 _Piper is right_. She thought in between kisses. _I would take things slow and explore this feeling more_. The thought made me happy and Piper was glad to kiss a smirking Vause.

"What is that smile all about?"

"Nothing"

"Plotting to seduce me?"

"You read minds?"

"I can do anything if I put my mind to it."

"I'm sure you can. So what should I call you? Boss lady, dragon lady or Pipes?"

"Anything you like. I like to hear you say anything from the sexy voice of yours."

"Well, I have to listen to you, because apparently you are my number one fan"

They cuddled up and exchanged more kisses. Both wanted to stay there forever but they both had to go to work. With a deep sigh Piper broke the embrace and stood up.

" You gonna leave me here?"

Alex asked so innocently and she looked fucking adorable. Piper wanted to squeeze her tight. But not today.

" not going to office today?"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, you have to."

"Okay, boss"

"And I have to check whether Mr. Demarco is alright"

"Well, if I'm going to work, can I borrow your clothes?"

"On one condition. You have to give it to me anytime if I ask in the office"

"I never thought you as the pervy type chapman"

"Now you know."

"Well, now I know"

Piper went to have a shower. She wanted Alex to join her but baby steps, she reminded herself. _This is a good morning_.

Alex and Piper went to office separately, Alex in her bike and Piper in her vehicle. It was one hectic day in office, they hardly had time to see each other. One time, Alex had to go and get Piper's signature. She went in to Piper's office, closed the door behind her without any noise. Piper was staring at her ipad and did not see Alex coming. Alex tiptoed and kissed Piper's shoulders and she almost shrieked and Alex literally had to put her hand on Piper's mouth because the whole office would be there in a second.

"What are you doing?"

"Kissing you?, should I not?"

"In the office?"

"So should I have an appointment to kiss you?"

Alex let those words out in frustration. In the back of her mind, she always had a soft spot for PC84 as someone whom she could relate to. She never even for a moment thought it would be her boss. Now since all cards were on the table, she thought they can really move forward but Piper's words made her angry and disappointed. She asked for Piper's signature and stormed out from the room leaving Piper behind.


End file.
